Unhappiness isn’t failure.

This is me. Lecturing someone somewhere - what looks to be about the size of watermelons these days. Anyone who knows me, knows I tend to lecture on anything, and whenever - no audience is necessary. Jokes aside, what this image tells me is how far I have come and how proud I am of that. The obstacles have been unique and enormous to say the least - for me. Yet I continue to meet them, sometimes face first. Then knee. Oh and definitely big toe.

We are taught to be modest. In modesty you're often ushered to be quiet about your achievements. But how can you help anyone without speaking up, sharing, and being proud of yourself? If you can achieve something, and you share that, maybe they can achieve it too. If you can model being proud of yourself even in the most unlikely situations, so can others. Often younger people need this modelling. But everyone is a candidate for the modelling of being ok about who they are.

Though this is sounding increasingly like a motivational lecture (duly noted that I have no audience right now, I'll continue anyway), I should mention I don't necessarily condone chasing 'happiness' as many tropes suggest. "Just be happy". This trope can be unproductive, because if you are unhappy - or at least not happy - which tends to be often, that means you are failing in the most repeated social allegory, over and over again. And, actually, you certainly haven't failed - you are just living the most common, garden variety human experience. Being happy is fleeting and difficult for many people, and being told everyday to 'be happy', is a set up for feeling ironically bad about yourself.

So why am I proud of this picture, because here, I am not happy, but I am comfortable with my mixed experience of unhappiness, happiness and all the colours in between. Maybe you are too!

And watermelons are getting too big. We should do something about that.