Friendships and friendboats

Do the tango on the friend-ship

I just came back from a great friend weekend trip with a close buddy, and I am reflecting on the value of that connection. Many years ago I had a fairly distressing life event occur. The kind of event that might test a support system, and that’s how I learned about true friends and “fair weather” friends - or as I like to call them - friendships and friendboats.

Friendships can weather a storm, not every storm, but they have big breasty sails. Wind Bosoms. When there’s an angry gust the sails catch that gust, and make use of it to help direct the friendship. The tougher times actually help that friendship in its navigation. With a friendboat, it’s a bit flimsy, the angry gust can knock it about, it can recover from the rocking, but it is now not going the right way, there’s leaks and water slowly filling up around your feet. A friendboat is good for going across the river maybe for a drink out now and then, or for a party - but the friendship is what you want to travel long distances in. But friendships don’t exist out of nothing, it takes maintenance every now and then, new paint jobs and repairs after those gusty encounters. It needs different captains sometimes to steer the ship - and sometimes you do it together, not so different from a romantic relationship (of course called the Loveboat™, the yacht/ship combo of relations we talk about for another day). Good partnerships overlap in some core values that determine their quality, and whether its romantic, familial or friends - you generally want to build your life with people that you can trust, and know how to care about themselves, and therefore others, in balanced and supportive ways. A ship may not be a car, but a relationship it’s never a one-way street. It’s a tango.

What I know now is that you need friendboats to identify what a friendship is, just as you need the downs to know the ups. The ebb and flow of friendship is it’s own special beast - or * insert maritime metaphor *- recognising the people that are (and want to be) your anchor in those inevitable rough periods. This, my mateys, is where you find the pirate’s treasure.

I hope you tango in your friendship as much as you can.

Ahoy! F-ship ahead!